7 Creatures of the Transfer Market

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Post by Jay29 Tue Jul 05, 2011 4:57 am

Found this on Mirror Football and found it to amusing yet strickingly true at the same time.

The Seven Creatures of the Transfer Window: which one are you?
By Annie Eaves, 22/06/11
http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opin...cle751221.html

Ah, the summer transfer window: three balmy, barmy months in which normally sane football fans go doo-lally at the merest drop of a rumour. But which Creature of the Transfer Window are you?

1) The Eternal Optimist
Don’t worry about a thing, ‘cos every seemingly ridiculous signing will be alright. Sold your best striker and replaced him with a dud from the second tier of French football? Eh, it can be hard to score goals in that division, English football will suit him. The Eternal Optimist will spin everything so that it makes perfect sense.

Natural Habitat: A Betting Shop
Most likely to say: “The manager knows what he’s doing.”
Least likely to say: “We’ve signed WHO?”

2) The Football Manager Addict
Never heard of a player and have no idea how he’d fit in at your club? Just find the Football Manager Addict. They’ll be able to give you a rundown of his strengths, weaknesses, positional ability, shot strength, attitude, sell-on value and how good they’ll be in five years. Who needs to actually watch football anyway!?

Natural Habitat: University Halls of Residence
Most likely to say: “I know it’s not real BUT...”
Least likely to say: “I’ve renewed my season ticket.”

3) The Apathetic
Jaded by years of transfer windows these people have seen it all. Cynical about any link with a player they take everything with a tonne of salt. Always ready to hose down your excitement about the possibility of a signing, frustratingly they’re correct more often than not.

Natural Habitat: On a Higher Plane
Most likely to say: ‘There’s no point speculating until he’s pictured with the shirt on.’
Least likely to say: “The deal is almost done, I read it on Twitter.”

4) The Committed Pessimist
It’s all going wrong. It is. Perhaps they predicted doom wrongly last year but this time they really mean it. The club is going the wrong way. A slippery slope to nowhere. So you’ve just signed a world class player? Pah, what’s world class these days? He could get injured on the first day of the season and then what? A new keeper, two defenders, a midfielder or three, and a top class striker are essential to avoid the fate they are predicting – and even then it will be a close run thing.

Natural Habitat: Football Forums
Most likely to say: “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.”
Least likely to say: “We’re looking good for next season.”

5) The In-The-Know
This creature literally thrives at this time of year and is lesser spotted outside of it. They won’t reveal why they know what they know but they’ll tell you that they know it. They just know y’know. They know what you don’t know but would like to know yet they never know anything that would be boring to know as that wouldn’t be worth them knowing. Now you know.

Natural Habitat: In the Pub or on Twitter
Most likely to say: “Just trust me.”
Least likely to say: “I’ve no idea.”

6) The Wind-up Merchant
Of course your best player wants to leave, you’re a small club. Last season was your peak and so next season will be your trough. Its better you accept it now. You’re a selling club. Not in the market for best players. Basically find the most controversial angle on any subject and the Wind Up Merchant will take it to a new level.

Natural Habitat: On the payroll at TalkSPORT
Most likely to say: “If you disagree, you know how to get in touch.”
Least likely to say: “I could be wrong as it’s just my opinion after all.”

7) The Sufferer of Premature Elation
A lack of football can lead to a certain level of delirium for these people. Just the slightest rumour can result in them proposing formations for next season to suit the player's strengths, making up chants, and contacting the club shop to see what number shirt the player will be wearing.

Natural Habitat: Pacing Any Room Repeatedly
Most likely to say: "Where should I get the tattoo?"
Least likely to say: "It'll never happen."

Seems we have a lot of number "fours" around at the moment.

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Post by dostoevsky Tue Jul 05, 2011 5:06 am

I laughed quite a bit at: Least likely to say: “I’ve renewed my season ticket.”

Thanks for posting, that was great. Take heart from the fact that onlookers have been the committed pessimists, predicting doom for the past five years, and they've never been right. Thumbs up
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Post by Spider Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:16 am

5) The In-The-Know
This creature literally thrives at this time of year and is lesser spotted outside of it. They won’t reveal why they know what they know but they’ll tell you that they know it. They just know y’know. They know what you don’t know but would like to know yet they never know anything that would be boring to know as that wouldn’t be worth them knowing. Now you know.

Natural Habitat: In the Pub or on Twitter
Most likely to say: “Just trust me.”
Least likely to say: “I’ve no idea.”

:lol!:

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Post by Brigate Rossonere Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:03 am

Most likely to say: "Where should I get the tattoo?"

cheers
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Post by Iceman Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:52 am

I have no idea which one of these I am
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Post by Ali Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:14 am

Iceman wrote:I have no idea which one of these I am

you are FADI , you are in a league of your own... cheers
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Post by Raptorgunner Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:54 am

Really nice article, I just dont know which one I am Very Happy maybe 1 and 3 lol
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Post by Ali Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:06 pm

Raptorgunner wrote:Really nice article, I just dont know which one I am Very Happy maybe 1 and 3 lol

ur number 4 !
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Post by Iceman Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:35 pm

I agree with Ali, Raptor is most definitely a #4
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Post by Ali Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:37 pm

I think I'm a number 1, but it's not my fault if your all pessimistic that I have to provide balance lol
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Post by Jay29 Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:49 pm

I'm probably a combination of 1 and 2, maybe a bit of 3 as well. I'm optimistic, in the sense that I don't think things are going to be as bad as people think they're going to be and I do get a lot of my knowledge of players from Football Manager. Embarassed

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Post by Spider Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:14 pm

After reading it again , i don't really know which one is me Suspect
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Post by Raptorgunner Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:35 pm

After reading again and again, yea you guys are right I might be #4. Very Happy
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Post by Eman Wed Jul 06, 2011 5:36 pm

I'd say I'm a 1 because I never say we're screwed, and I have eternal optimism that one day soon we will win everything. I often put terrible performances down to "mistakes" rather than players "being shit," and I probably rate everybody at the club a little bit higher than I should. Sad thing is that I've been like this for 6 years Embarassed

I am also a 3, unless I really like the player we're being linked with! Then again, I think that as Arsenal fans all of us have a little bit of 3 in us Laughing
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Post by El Gunner Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:45 pm

Nice find goonerjay! Afro

sometimes im 3, though sometimes i can be 4 Smile
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Post by Wilson37 Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:21 pm

May be i am Class 1 and..
Yes i see class 4 dominating in forums...
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