The Movie House - Part 4

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Post by Freeza Wed Jul 22, 2015 10:30 pm

Die Another Day is Catwoman levels of bad.

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Post by M99 Wed Jul 22, 2015 10:32 pm

@Freeza wrote:Die Another Day is Catwoman levels of bad.


u wot m8

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Post by RealGunner Wed Jul 22, 2015 10:32 pm

Never seen a single james bond film in my life


u mad queen?
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Post by El Gunner Wed Jul 22, 2015 10:37 pm

Only seen Skyfall, Casino Royale and Die Another Day. Only really liked Skyfall from those.

Not that big on James Bond, so can't be bothered to watch the older ones tbh.
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Post by Vlad the Impaler Wed Jul 22, 2015 11:09 pm

Tell me the name of a recent good comedy! Thanks!
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Post by Freeza Wed Jul 22, 2015 11:13 pm

@Vlad the Impaler wrote:Tell me the name of a recent good comedy! Thanks!


Spy, 22 Jumpstreet, Neighbors, Chef, Let's Be Cops that's the only ones (mainstream comedies) out of like 20 I saw these past few years I liked, that I can recall at the top of my head. Unless you'd call Nightcrawler a comedy hmm Pretty funny atleast
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Post by Great Leader Sprucenuce Wed Jul 22, 2015 11:22 pm

@Freeza wrote:Die Another Day is Catwoman levels of bad.


I actually like it lol, not even sure why.
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Post by RealGunner Wed Jul 22, 2015 11:23 pm

@M99 wrote:
@Freeza wrote:Die Another Day is Catwoman levels of bad.


u wot m8



what is this
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Post by RedOranje Wed Jul 22, 2015 11:53 pm

Goldeneye is the best Brosnan Bond film by a wide margin. Tomorrow Never Dies is the only other solid Brosnan Bond film and the rest were just absurd for the most part.




Also, Space Jam 2 is NOT OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED. No idea why its been posted that it is. The recent talk is merely speculation due to the coincidental timing of Warner Bros filing for new trademarks on the title and announcing the deal with James. There may be plans for it but as of now there has been absolutely nothing official about it.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:11 am

Also, that Spectre trailer just makes me remember this:

The Movie House - Part 4 - Page 37 2uG6Llt

The Movie House - Part 4 - Page 37 1cb
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:56 am

Frankie Muniz just got both arms and both legs eaten by a shark then blew himself up... when did he drop so low that he has to star in Syfy made-for-tv movies?
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:10 am

Halfway through the movie and we've had 4 shark-storms, 1 US military base destroyed, an F-4 Phantom II (which hasn't been used by the US for anything other than target drones in a decade), a NASCAR race destroyed, 1 woman randomly in her underwear, and Tara Reid going all Ash Williams, and sharks riding rollercoasters, water slides, and haunted house rides.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:11 am

Huh... 3-Headed Shark Attack (debuted on Syfy earlier this week) showing on the screen of the movie theater in Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No. Dat synergy.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:16 am

This Saturday comes the premiere of the bastard lovechild of Police Academy and Ice Spiders/Arachnoquake/Big Ass Spider!: Lavalantula (which definitely sounds like it should be a pokemon)... staring Steve Guttenberg, Michael Winslow, Leslie Easterbrook, and Marion Ramsey.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:21 am

Red's Apple Ale bottle in the center of the back-from-commercial shot. Nice, subtle product placement there.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:33 am

Oh look, it's The Hoff. He's going to help them fly a Space Shuttle through the wall of sharknados and that will somehow stop the storm. Also, their suits are made of (US) football pads. What could possibly go wrong?!?
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:34 am

And for anyone wondering just who was insane, drunk, or high enough (or all of the above?) to come up with this movie series, here's the origin:

During the equally riveting Syfy movie “Leprechaun’s Revenge” (also known as “Red Clover”), there’s a conversation between a deputy police and a reporter where a “sharknado” is mentioned. In an interview with Vice, “Sharknado” scribe Thunder Levin confirmed this.

“There’s this town in the movie that’s, I guess, being besieged by leprechauns…and somebody says, ‘Gosh, I hope we don’t go the way of that other town. They never recovered after the sharknado hit,'” Levin explained. “One of the execs at SyFy, that stuck with them and they thought, “Hey, we should make a movie called ‘Sharknado!”

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/style-blog/wp/2015/07/22/sharknado-is-absurd-so-lets-look-back-at-its-hilarious-origin-story/
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:40 am

Oooh, a new Syfy miniseries about benevolent aliens showing up to help us before it turns out they're actually evil conquerors. Guess it has been more than a year since the last such series debuted.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:45 am

From F-4 II to F-35... I'm not sure whether that's an upgrade or a downgrade, to be honest. Pretty sure sharks don't give a shit about stealth technology though. And I'm pretty sure the F-35 can't fly in a light drizzle, nevermind a wall of tornadoes filled with sharks.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:51 am

Oh gee, their ingenious plan to blow up the Shuttle's external fuel tank to make the storm dissipate (no idea what that plan was based on) didn't work. Shocking.

But wait! The SDI (Reagan's "Star Wars" anti-ICBM satellite defense system that never actually worked in any capacity) is actually functional as a secret government project and it can save the day! And a French man is apparently in control of it? Sure, why not.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:54 am

But the satellite (apparently there's only one in the entire system, defending the whole of the US from the thousands of ICBMs that Russia would launch in the case of nuclear war) can't be reached and they have to make a space-walk to do a manual reboot/repair. Time for someone to be the big damn hero.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:57 am

On noes! There are sharks in the Shuttle! Sharks must be incredibly aerodynamic for a storm to get them all the way into space... and have some type of exotic energy to be able to actually "swim" through space.

FINALLY Tara Reid gets eaten. And the Shuttle is down! That was one gigantic shark.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:58 am

We've had space-travel wrong this whole time, guys. Apparently shark are the way to go.
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:07 am

They even have their own natural heat shield it seems, and humans can survive reentry by riding inside them. Truly the future of space travel is...
SHARKS!
IN!
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!




Awww, Tara Reid not only survived being eaten and reentering the Earth's atmosphere inside a shark, she also managed to give birth at the same time before cutting her way out upon landing (without liquifying upon hitting the ground). Did I forget to mention she was apparently pregnant during this entire movie of running and jumping and chainsawing flying sharks and traveling to space? Cus she was (apparently).






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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:08 am

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAA


*bleep* CLIFFHANGER ENDING! With a twitter vote to decide the way it turns out for Sharknado 4 even! For *bleep* sake! Everyone vote to kill off Tara Reid or I will ban every single poster on these forums. Twisted Evil
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Post by RedOranje Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:12 am

And this has been movie time with drunk Red, brought to you by Jameson & Glenfiddich and starring The Asylum's "Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!"

Thanks for joining (that's sarcasm, you ingrates) and enjoy the rest of your night. Don't forget to tip your waiter and vote #AprilDies on twatter (or else).
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