If the EPL was american

by NiallQuinnsdiscoPants Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:01 pm

[center]Hey Sports Fans! It’s The Official CanariesSoccer Match Center for the ballgame featuring: Canaries @ Black Cats

Live from Estadio Da Luz™.

Wednesday February 1st sees Canaries make the long trip along InterState1 to face off against Sunderland Black Cats. This mid-divisional EPL matchup could decide the fate of several million dollars’ worth of vital rewards at series-end. Last time out for Canaries was a One versus Two victory against Baggies in the FA Superbowl, in that matchup score-attempts were converted by talismanic G. Holt, and a late fumble-recovery by Team Canada international S. Jackson.

Coach Lambert: “I thought Jed Steer's saves were world class. He was terrific. It is only one game but he has a great temperament and a great enthusiasm for the game as well which is important. He is a really level-headed lad, which is probably more important than anything - but his handling was brilliant. His two saves at the end were exceptional
”

The matchup @ Baggies saw Canaries’ freshman score-attempt-preventer J. Steer make his first senior-XI appearance. An assured performance by the highly-rated youngster may have persuaded franchise fans that there is no need to strengthen their endzone-protection [insert innuendo here] in this series’ mid-season draft; a relief after D. Rudd was sent to the med squad in December.

Black Cats currently sit P10 in the EPL divisional-standings, one position and two-points below Canaries in P9. Their recent surge in form has coincided with the introduction of veteran EPL Coach M. O’Neill, who has effectively turned around their fortunes in a short number of matchups. Key to their success has been midfield-linesman S. Larrson, whose cross-field pass-play has exploited many of the EPL’s best de-fenses.

Coach O’Neill: " The goal from Fraizer gave us a big, big lift and we thought we could win it from that point but that would have been harsh on Middlesbrough. Overall I'm delighted with the team but we need to play for 90 minutes”
.

Last time these two Franchises met, Black Cats were defeated Two versus One @ The DeliaDome, despite having considerable spells of pressure. The most interesting battle this time round will be the battle of the Coaches, with Coach Lambert taking much of his inspiration from his time spent with Coach O’Neill @ Glasgow Celtics. Whether their two soccer-philosophies will cancel each other out remains to be seen, but expect an exciting ballgame!

This sure is going to be a great Soccer matchup, so fill up your Coca-Cola™ tankards, get your hot-dog's and grab a seat for this smash-and-grab matchup, brought to you exclusively on Not606!

by RedOranje Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:20 pm

SO many stereotypes, so little actual humour... Unfortunate as the idea itself is funny enough. Proper execution could have seen something special.

by Yeezus Wed Feb 01, 2012 1:46 am

Landon Donovan would be the Wayne Rooney of the league. The poster boy, on every ad.

Luis Suarez would've been sent to prison for 2 years, Terry also

Chicharito wouldn't be granted a work permit.

by RedOranje Wed Feb 01, 2012 6:21 am

King Danny the 7th wrote:Landon Donovan would be the Wayne Rooney of the league. The poster boy, on every ad.

Luis Suarez would've been sent to prison for 2 years, Terry also

Chicharito wouldn't be granted a work permit.

Not without evidence, he wouldn't.

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