Mock the Quotes: Conte crunch

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Post by DeviAngel Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:57 am

“Am I a hard task-master in training? It’s all much easier than when I was a player, as back then we really did have our tongues hanging out. It’s called training, not a kick-about.”

In his day Antonio Conte had jumpers for goalposts and a cross-country run meant going from Turin to Naples


“Those stories came out of The Sun, a paper that frankly isn’t even good for cleaning car windows.”

Agent Mino Raiola says eating chips off the tabloids is an insult to fried food

“We must support Eduardo Vargas, like good parents.”

Napoli President Aurelio De Laurentiis and 70,000 fans ask whether the new boy is wearing a nice warm vest under his shirt


“We are the favourites to win the Scudetto and we would be favourites in the Champions League too if Barcelona weren’t in it…”

Alessandro Nesta feels like the Tonya Harding of European football (oh just Google it)


“We’ll win the game 1-0. Fabrizio Miccoli will decide the match with a goal in the 80th minute.”

Maurizio Zamparini launches his bid to star in the new Ladbrokes ad


“With [Juan] Cuadrado I am learning a new dance to be implemented when one of us scores.”

If only Luis Muriel and his teammates put more effort into learning how to score, Lecce might not be propping up the table


“It’s not easy to get up in the morning when you’re seeing triple or even quadruple.”

Gennaro Gattuso reveals seeing double is for wimps


“I hugged him, but didn’t crush his ribs, as I’m not in good shape...”

Gattuso let Carlo Ancelotti off with an affectionately light bruising


“I want each player to know exactly what to do whether in possession or not, almost as if they were radio controlled from the bench.”

If you see Conte fiddling with a remote on the touchline, you’ll know something’s up


“I and the whole squad want to wish Marco Borriello well for his new adventure. He’s left us, but he’ll always be with us.”

Someone inform Francesco Totti that Borriello isn’t dead, he’s just at Juventus


“A light inside of Alberto Gilardino had gone out.”

Delio Rossi updates the old ‘how many unhappy Fiorentina players does it take to change a light bulb’ joke


“It’s practically impossible to see me wear the Bianconeri shirt again. I don’t want to go back.”

Juventus fans will be heartbroken, Felipe Melo


“I confess one thing, I’m glad to hear City fans at the stadium chant my name to the tune of ‘Volare’.”

Roberto Mancini certainly prefers that tribute to ‘Shaddapp Ya Face’ by Joe Dolce

“Yeah, I know he smokes. If he was my son I would give him a kick on the a*** but he is not my son!”

Mario Balotelli is just glad Mancio doesn’t put him over his knee


“It is strange that I have a beautiful relationship with everyone, but it’s true.”

Even Antonio Cassano can’t quite believe he hasn’t had any arguments since joining Milan


“My role will be to stand on the field with the players.”

Is that allowed, Ancelotti?


“It’s rare for the Juventus train to come along twice in under three years.”

Daniel Fonseca will just take the bus


“I think this was the year I reached football maturity.”

Simone Pepe is proud he no longer has to wear a soccer nappy


“The hotel staff were not up to hosting a club like Catania.”

Pietro Lo Monaco reveals their rider is tougher than Lady Gaga’s
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Post by BiasedMilanFan3 Sat Jan 07, 2012 2:00 am

DeviAngel wrote:

“Those stories came out of The Sun, a paper that frankly isn’t even good for cleaning car windows.”

Agent Mino Raiola says eating chips off the tabloids is an insult to fried food

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I like dat
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Post by DeviAngel Sat Jan 07, 2012 2:02 am

BiasedMilanFan3 wrote:
DeviAngel wrote:

“Those stories came out of The Sun, a paper that frankly isn’t even good for cleaning car windows.”

Agent Mino Raiola says eating chips off the tabloids is an insult to fried food

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I like dat

this made me lol so hard lmao

deviangel wrote:I want each player to know exactly what to do whether in possession or not, almost as if they were radio controlled from the bench.”

If you see Conte fiddling with a remote on the touchline, you’ll know something’s up

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Post by Ganso Sat Jan 07, 2012 2:04 am


“We are the favourites to win the Scudetto and we would be favourites in the Champions League too if Barcelona weren’t in it…”
dafuq.....
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