The Folly Of Letting Kroos Go

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Post by Hapless_Hans Tue 19 Aug - 13:31

The Actor's Names

Hans, King of Bavaria
Pep, Steward to Hans
Sammer, a fool
Kroos,
Th. Iago,
Goatzello, .. players of Bavaria
Tomwin Lannister, a courtier
Carlito, King of Castilia
Nick, henchman to Carlito


ACT I

Scene I


Enter Carlito and Nick
Carlito:
I thought the King had more affected Kroos, than Goatzello.
Nick:
It did always seems so to us, but now, in the divison of the Kingdom,
it appears not which of the players he values most, for equalities are so weigh'd,
that curiosity in neither, can make make choice of either's moiety.
Carlito:
Let us go and steal Kroos then! Off to Bavaria!
Nick:
Hail to thee, noble master!
exeunt

Scene II

Enter Hans, Kroos, Th.Iago, Goatzello, Tomwin, Pep
Hans:
Meantime we shall express our darker purpose.
Give me the teamsheet there. Know that we have divided
In three our kingdom: and 'tis our fast intent
To shake all cares and business from our age;
Conferring them on younger strengths, while we
Unburthen'd crawl toward death. Tell me, my players,--
Since now we will divest us both of rule,
Interest of territory, cares of state,--
Which of you shall we say doth love us most?
Goatzello:
Sir, I love you more than words can wield the matter;
Dearer than eye-sight, space, and liberty;
Beyond what can be valued, rich or rare;
No less than life, with grace, health, beauty, honour;
As much as child e'er loved, or father found;
A love that makes breath poor, and speech unable;
Beyond all manner of so much I love you.
Hans:
Of all these bounds, even from this line to this,
With shadowy forests and with champains rich'd,
With plenteous rivers and wide-skirted meads,
We make thee top earner.
What says our second player,
Our dearest Th.Iago? Speak.
Th.Iago:
Sir, I am made
Of the self-same metal that Goatzello is,
And prize me at his worth. In my true heart
I find he names my very deed of love;
Only he comes too short: that I profess
Myself an enemy to all other joys,
Which the most precious square of sense possesses;
And find I am alone felicitate
In your dear highness' love.
Hans:
To thee and thine hereditary ever
Remain this ample part of our fair wage bill;
No less in space, validity, and pleasure,
Than that conferr'd on Goatzello.
Pep:
Oh you kind Gods!
Tomwin: aside
This man hath had good counsel
Hans:
Now, our joy,
Although the last, not least; to whose young love
The goggly eyes of Moyes' Manchester
Strive to be interess'd; what can you say to draw
A third more opulent than your teammates? Speak!
Kroos:
Nothing, my lord.
Hans:
Nothing!
Kroos:
Nothing.
Hans:
Nothing will come of nothing: speak again.
Kroos:
Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave
My heart into my mouth: I love your majesty
According to my bond; nor more nor less.
Hans:
How, how, Toni! mend your speech a little,
Lest it may mar your fortunes.
So young, and so untender?
Kroos:
So young, my lord, and true.
Hans:
Let it be so; thy truth, then, be thy dower:
For, by the sacred radiance of the sun,
The mysteries of Hecate, and the night;
By all the operation of the orbs
From whom we do exist, and cease to be;
Here I disclaim all my paternal care,
Propinquity and property of blood,
And as a stranger to my heart and me
Hold thee, from this, for ever.
Tomwin:
Royal Hans,
Whom I have ever honour'd as my king,
What wilt thou do, old man?
Think'st thou that duty shall have dread to speak,
When power to flattery bows? To plainness honour's bound,
When majesty stoops to folly. Reverse thy doom;
And, in thy best consideration, cheque
This hideous rashness.
Hans:
O, vassal! miscreant!
Out of my sight! Turn thy hated back
Upon our kingdom!
Tomwin:
Fare thee well, king: sith thus thou wilt appear,
Freedom lives hence, and banishment is here
exits
Pep:
Peace Tom.
exeunt

ACT II

Scene I

Enter King Hans and Sammer, the fool
Sammer:
Winter's not gone yet, if the wild-geese fly that way.
Fathers that wear rags
Do make their children blind;
But fathers that bear bags
Shall see their children kind.
Fortune, that arrant whore,
Ne'er turns the key to the poor.
Hans:
I cannot conceive you.
Sammer:
We'll set thee to school to an ant, to teach thee
there's no labouring i' the winter. All that follow
their noses are led by their eyes but blind men; and
there's not a nose among twenty but can smell him
that's stinking.
Hans:
Ha, Ha, Ha.
Sammer:
Let go thy hold when a great wheel
runs down a hill, lest it break thy neck with
following it: but the great one that goes up the
hill, let him draw thee after.
Hans:
Why, Fool?
exeunt

Scene II

Enter Kroos, Carlito, Nick
Carlito:
Thou told'st me thou didst hold him in thy hate.
Kroos:
Despise me, if I do not. Three great ones of the city,
In personal suit to make me his lieutenant,
Off-capp'd to him: and, by the faith of man,
I know my price, I am worth no worse a place:
Why, there's no remedy; 'tis the curse of service,
Preferment goes by letter and affection,
And not by old gradation, where each second
Stood heir to the first. Now, sir, be judge yourself,
Whether I in any just term am affined
To love the Hans.
Nick:
I would not follow him then
Kroos:
Where do I sign?
exeunt

Scene III

Enter Hans, Pep and Sammer, the fool
Hans:  
You think I'll weep? No, I'll not weep:
I have full cause of weeping; but this heart
Shall break into a hundred thousand flaws,
Or ere I'll weep. O fool, I shall go mad!
Sammer:
This cold night will turn us all to fools, and madmen.
Pep:
Sweet marjoram.
exeunt


Act III

A cottage in the hills, enter Pep and Nick

Pep:
Who's there, besides foul weather?
Nick:
Good dawning to thee friend, art of this house?
Pep:
I know thee not.
Nick:
Why art thou angry?
Pep:
I love thee not.
Nick:
Why, art thou mad, old fellow?

enter Tomwin, diguised as a beggar
Tomwin:
Who gives any thing to poor Tom? whom the foul
fiend hath led through fire and through flame, and
through ford and whirlipool e'er bog and quagmire;
that hath laid knives under his pillow, and halters
in his pew; set ratsbane by his porridge; made film
proud of heart, to ride on a bay trotting-horse over
four-inched bridges, to course his own shadow for a
traitor. Bless thy five wits! Tom's a-cold,--O, do
de, do de, do de.
Pep:
How now! what art thou?
Tomwin:
A man, Sir.
Pep:
Dost thou know me, fellow?
Tomwin:
Aye.
Nick:
A spirit, a spirit: he says his name's poor Tom.
Pep:
Tom!
Poor Tom; that eats the swimming frog, the toad,
the tadpole, the wall-newt and the water; that in
the fury of his heart, when the foul fiend rages,
eats cow-dung for sallets; swallows the old rat and
the ditch-dog; drinks the green mantle of the
standing pool; who is whipped from tithing to
tithing, and stock- punished, and imprisoned; who
hath had three suits to his back, six shirts to his
body, horse to ride, and weapon to wear;
But mice and rats, and such small deer,
Have been Tom's food for seven long year.
Beware my follower. Peace, Smulkin; peace, thou fiend!

Enter Hans, with a jersey of Kroos in his arms
Hans:
Howl, howl, howl: O you are men of stones,
had I your tongues and eyes, I'd use them so,
that Heaven's vault should crack: he's gone forever.
Tomwin:
Is this the promised end?
Pep:
Or image of that horror?
Hans:
A plague upon you murderers, traitors all,
I might have kept him, now he's gone forever:
Toni, Toni, stay a little. Ha:
What is't thou say'st? His touch was ever so soft,
gentle, and low, an excellent thing in midfield.
I'll kill the slave that robbed thee!
Drawing his sword

Nick:
Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail
on one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee!
Hans:
What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou
knowest me! Is it two days ago since you tapped up
my player, and stole him for thy king? Draw, you
rogue: for, though it be night, yet the moon
shines; I'll make a sop o' the moonshine of you:
draw, you whoreson cullionly barber-monger, draw.
Nick:
Away! I have nothing to do with thee.
Hans:
Draw, you rascal: draw, you rogue, or I'll so
carbonado your shanks: draw, you rascal; come your ways.
Nick:
Help, ho! murther! help!
Hans:
Strike, you slave; stand, rogue, stand; you neat slave, strike.
Nick draws, they fight

Hans:
Let go slave, or thou diest
Nick stabs Hans

Hans:
Slave, thou hast slain me: villain, take my purse.
Oh I am slain! No, no, no life!
Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have Kroos,
And I no Kroos at all? He'lt come no more,
Never, never, never, never, never!
Pray you, undo this button: thank you, sir.
Do you see this? Look on him, look, his jersey,
Look there, look there!
Dies

Pep:
He faints! My lord, my lord!
Tomwin:
Break, heart; I prithee, break!
Pep:
Look up, my lord.
Tomwin:
Vex not his ghost: O, let him pass! he hates him much
That would upon the rack of this tough world
Stretch him out longer.
Pep:
He is gone, indeed.
Tomwin:
The wonder is, he hath endured so long:
He but usurp'd his life
Nick:
I have a journey, sir, shortly to go;
My master calls me, I must not say no.
Exits

Pep:  
The weight of this sad time we must obey,
speak what we feel, not what we ought to say:
the oldest has borne most, we that are young
shall never see so much, nor live so long.

Exeunt with a death march
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Post by rwo power Tue 19 Aug - 13:51

:bow:
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Post by Lord Awesome Tue 19 Aug - 14:40

Lol Hans. Laughing So crafty.
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Post by Tomwin Lannister Tue 19 Aug - 14:41

rofl rofl Proud
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Post by Motogp69 Tue 19 Aug - 18:29

:bow:
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Post by Hapless_Hans Tue 19 Aug - 19:28

Thiago injured, Martinez injured, Schweinsteiger injured. Letting Kroos leave was a *bleep* up of epic proportions.

Epic. Worse than Barca losing Thiago, since Thiago is injured all the time.

Watching Kroos bossing in Real's midfield makes me *bleep* depressed.
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Post by halamadrid2 Wed 20 Aug - 13:58

Not to shit all over your already depressing mood hans but Kroos is excellent. We were owed this after selling Robben to you for dirt cheap Laughing Proud

I think when you put him in a set up where you expect him to create things you'll be disappointed but when you know his strengths and limitations you know exactly what he'll give you and so far he has given us what we lacked last season and that's agility and the ability to pass under pressure which would make him the ideal Xabi replacement something we have tried to solve for nearly two whole seasons. I think Bayerns slow players is what exposed him defensively, he hasn't been exposed for us.......yet hmm
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Post by Hapless_Hans Wed 20 Aug - 15:15

I don't even know where you get the idea from that Kroos was 'exposed defensively' for us, or that he doesn't create stuff, or anything.

Just because we collectively played like shit from february to april, people only watched the CL quarters and semis and now draw conclusions.

Kroos, I'm sad to say, hasn't got many limitations. He will do different stuff depending on where you put him, and what he's asked to do.
He can defend pretty well for a CM/CAM contrary to what people say, he's learned to press with us, he's not that slow as people think and his sometimes lethargic behaviour makes it seem.
His technique is flawless and he rarely makes mistakes. He's robust and wins challenges. He can deal with the ball and pass accurately under pressure.

What pisses me off is that he was the perfect complementary player to Thiago - he likes to distribute the ball calmly, safely, and methodically while Thiago would be there to provide the audacious stuff.
But before growing into this kind of deep lying playmaker role he actually was a more vertical-playing attack-minded AM, which he can do too no problem.

So yeah. Good for you.  Mad
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Post by halamadrid2 Thu 21 Aug - 5:16


He can defend pretty well for a CM/CAM contrary to what people say, he's learned to press with us,
he's not that slow as people think and his sometimes lethargic behaviour makes it seem.
His technique is flawless and he rarely makes mistakes.
He's robust and wins challenges.
He can deal with the ball and pass accurately under pressure

This is what I have noticed from him and that's what we were lacking. Carlo has tracked him since his psg days so I guess he knew all this but I was surprised to see all those qualities honestly. never thought he would be good at them
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Post by dostoevsky Thu 1 Jan - 20:28

How did I only just read this majestic post?

Hans Proud
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Post by El Gunner Fri 2 Jan - 4:54

Shakespearan Hans Proud
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