the oprah apology thing

an article posted on Grantland (american blog for american sports mostly). since Armstrong is about to come out of the closet they posted a blog about the sports apology that should happen, and two footballer were in there. it was pretty funny so i thought i would share.

4. Diego Maradona ("I owe you one, England.")

The Setting: Maradona's Patagonian mountain retreat. Maradona, whose face is suffused with a kind of tragic dignity, is wearing an eye patch and a rayon bowling jacket that reads "Daddy-O." In one window, a spectacular mountain vista stretches on and on. Oprah is reserved, respectful of cultural differences but slightly nonplussed by the way the parrot on Maradona's shoulder keeps croaking Nietzsche quotes.

The Apology: "I handled the ball. It was not God. I have said before that it was God, but in fact it was I, Diego. After a certain point one can only look back on one's deeds with the sadness that comes from distance. However often I relive the scene in my memory, I cannot reinhabit the body of the man who scored the goal with his hand. I am cut off from him, yet in some way responsible for his actions. Miss Winfrey, does anyone truly comprehend time? I know very little about theology, and yet I confess that my thoughts do wander. I think to myself: If my hand moved to touch the ball into the net … well, who moved my hand? If the referee did not see … well, who averted his eyes? Who made Steve Hodge unable to play a simple clearance, who designed Peter Shilton to be so improbably slow? Can we not say, Miss Winfrey, that the hand of God moves everything, in time? That we are carried away from ourselves by a current we cannot comprehend, toward an end we cannot see? I apologize for whatever part I share in this, to me, impenetrable mystery. Now if we still have a moment I will fetch my acoustic guitar and play 'Call Me Phoebe,' a delightful song parody I have written from the perspective of my favorite Friends character. Chocolate sunbeam tangoberry."

Oprah's Verdict: "Sometimes the hardest thing is to learn to forgive yourself. The message today is, It's never too late."

Six Months Later: Maradona replaces Arsene Wenger as the coach of Arsenal, wins 18 consecutive Premier League championships.


2. Cristiano Ronaldo ("I apologize for … what am I apologizing for again?")

The Setting: Oprah's studio. Cristiano's Ed Hardy x True Religion stonewashed jeans define a complex space in which the cool and the uncool swallow each other's conceptual underpinnings. His face radiates with a strange, faint shine, like the waterproof membrane of a raincoat. Oprah is wearing a pantsuit. The pantsuit is navy. The mood in the studio is uncertain.

The Apology: "Hello, Oprah. Thank you for having me. I want to say I'm sorry for … well, whatever it is that I have to be sorry for. It's something, right? I mean, it's not clear to me, but it definitely seems like I ought to apologize. I work hard, I play well, I'm a pretty responsible person. You don't see me in a lot of embarrassing nightclub incidents. I like flashy clothes and I date beautiful women, but come on. You wouldn't, if you were a 27-year-old multimillionaire celebrity? So maybe it kind of seems like I don't have anything to apologize for. Hahahahaha! I know! It seems funny to me, too! There's an apology that needs to come out of this mouth, for sure. So for … that thing that makes you feel … that way you feel about me for … those reasons that you have, I am truly … something. Sorry! I'm truly sorry. Oprah, I thank you for this opportunity to speak."

Oprah's Verdict: "I think there's hope for you, Cristiano. But it's going to take more than words. It's going to take actions. Vague, undefined actions that you will perform for a long time."

Six Months Later: Ronaldo scores 57 goals in 52 games. Messi wins his ninth straight Ballon d'Or.



the rest here
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/8834874/lance-armstrong-oprah-10-sports-apologies

Maradonna as Arsenal's manager? lol this is a neat thread though

BarrileteCosmico wrote:

I think to myself: If my hand moved to touch the ball into the net … well, who moved my hand? If the referee did not see … well, who averted his eyes? Who made Steve Hodge unable to play a simple clearance, who designed Peter Shilton to be so improbably slow? Can we not say, Miss Winfrey, that the hand of God moves everything, in time?

My abdominal sides

Best part of it, it made feel the slowness of Shilton right here at the couch.

Dat writing

that just brilliant writing, keep reading it, doesnt get old

Grantland <<<<333333
Bill Simmons (best writer in sport) <<<<<3333

Brilliant site.

i dare you to read the ronaldo apology and not use his voice in your head.

impossible.

haha i can hear him saying that. though i dont really remember that, why was he (fake) apologizing?

vanDEEZ wrote:i dare you to read the ronaldo apology and not use his voice in your head.

impossible.

haha i can hear him saying that. though i dont really remember that, why was he (fake) apologizing?