Re: The Official 'Dump On Torres' Thread

[Kick]

[Blue Barrett]

Please, Fernando. We don't want you to prove anyone wrong. Just.....go.....

[Soul]

[Kick]

Basically.

[iNFINITY9910]

So I didn't get to watch the match, just wanted to know.. how did he play/'

[Kick]

Well.....As a playmaker.....

He had a good game, except be barely featured as a CF and kept dropping back to receive the ball and build the play.

[lszanto]

So I didn't get to watch the match, just wanted to know.. how did he play/'

Missed it aswell but according to what I heard of football weekly he was quite good, opened up space well and allowed our trio to move around behind him.

[iNFINITY9910]

Hmmmm... better than nothing... i wanted to confirm it lol.

[Abramovich]

He actually changed the game imo lmao, he's actually not that bad when he's mask mode which is really weird.

[Shed]

The problem is that his fangirls think that him dropping deep/going wide and making a few decent passes means he's played well. It doesn't. He's a striker. His job is to say central, in the box, and make a menace of himself to the opposition. Did he do that on Sunday? Has he EVER done that in a Chelsea shirt? No.

Nothing's changed for my money, and anyone who even remotely thinks he's "back" after a few goals and a few decent showings against Steaua Bucharest, Rubin Kazan and relegation favourites
Sunderland - the absolute powerhouses that they are.... - needs serious help.

[Abramovich]

By golazofc on Apr 8 2013, 6:12a  @GolazoFC 22

A few years ago, a fearsome goal bandit they called El Nino traveled from the northern lands of Liverpool to the urban sprawl of London for a large bounty. But as soon as he came, he disappeared, taking his goals with him.

Of course, people have claimed various sightings since then. Legend has it that he appeared in Barcelona to help the Blues on their quest for the Champions League Grail. Others say he made off with a golden boot in Ukraine last summer.

The townspeople of Stamford Bridge had given up on ever finding him again, until last week when a mysterious man in a black mask helped the Blues defeat the evil wizards of Rubin Kazan.

Today, again he showed up to help overtake the minions of Count Di Canio. They call him Zorres, but could this be the legendary El Nino in hiding? They resemble each other in body and he shows flashes of El Nino’s trademark pace.

But there is something different about this man. This masked avenger doesn’t poach goals at the same rate as El Nino, but instead tries to give goals to others. El Nino also had long flowing golden hair, while this stranger's cropped hair belongs to the magical people of Ginger.

No one will truly ever know because his identity is hidden behind the mask. But his former mentor, the Camarero of Espana, swears that this masked wonder will soon reveal himself as the old El Nino.

The world waits with bated breath...

[Shed]

By golazofc on Apr 8 2013, 6:12a  @GolazoFC 22

A few years ago, a fearsome goal bandit they called El Nino traveled from the northern lands of Liverpool to the urban sprawl of London for a large bounty. But as soon as he came, he disappeared, taking his goals with him.

Of course, people have claimed various sightings since then. Legend has it that he appeared in Barcelona to help the Blues on their quest for the Champions League Grail. Others say he made off with a golden boot in Ukraine last summer.

The townspeople of Stamford Bridge had given up on ever finding him again, until last week when a mysterious man in a black mask helped the Blues defeat the evil wizards of Rubin Kazan.

Today, again he showed up to help overtake the minions of Count Di Canio. They call him Zorres, but could this be the legendary El Nino in hiding? They resemble each other in body and he shows flashes of El Nino’s trademark pace.

But there is something different about this man. This masked avenger doesn’t poach goals at the same rate as El Nino, but instead tries to give goals to others. El Nino also had long flowing golden hair, while this stranger's cropped hair belongs to the magical people of Ginger.

No one will truly ever know because his identity is hidden behind the mask. But his former mentor, the Camarero of Espana, swears that this masked wonder will soon reveal himself as the old El Nino.

The world waits with bated breath...

Yes, the Torres of old is now back after 3 goals against the mighty Steaua Bucharest and Rubin Kazan...



*tries to hold back outburst of laughter*

[Abramovich]

You totally didn't read that post did you

[Shed]

You totally didn't read that post did you

Haha of course I did, I know it was a fairytale-esque satirical piece. I'm just referring to the people I've seen the last few days using that same kind of rhetoric used in the story to say he's 'on his way back'

[Abramovich]

Guess it was open to interp as I thought it was pretty much a piss take out of him

[Shed]

Guess it was open to interp as I thought it was pretty much a piss take out of him

Well it more or less was. I was just referring to those that actual use those same points, but in a dead-serious argument about how he's returning to form. Scary as it is...

[Shed]

Should he manage a goal tonight, the "He's Back!!!" Brigade are REALLY gonna be out in full force!

[Kick]

You mean Torres isn't back?

[Shed]

You mean Torres isn't back?

[Kick]

I am surprised there are still people who haven't given up on him yet.

[Shed]

Indeed. Shocking and scary that there are still people who think the situation is going to suddenly turn around and he'll magically turn into the Liverpool Torres again. #torresfanboyz

[Kick]

they obviously haven't watched him in the past 2 years.

[Shed]

None of that was his fault, remember?

[Kick]

oh right.

[fatman123]

#saveustorres

[Kick]

Fitmans drunk

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