Re: Quotes from other forums that make you LOL

[Blue Barrett]

FWIW, I don't think its fair to judge a player based on their physique.

[Lex]

What website is that?

lol.com

[BarcaLearning]

AC Milan forums after the 0-4 defeat.

What I found hilarious is how Jordi Alba a little shit can run 80ms in 8 seconds, whereas Cristiano did it in 10 seconds... lol. I have been saying it forever. Even Madrid accused Barca of it and then they shut up because Barca probably gave me them some of their medicine lol. Juve are just drugged as Barca as well. I think you're 100% right. I've been saying it time and time again on this forum. Tell me how it's possible Messi was able to outjump Abate 1v1 at San Siro when we won 2-0? Or how Puyol was able to fight Pazzini for every challenge? Not even Nesta had that much energy lol... we had to rest Nesta for big games for him to perform. Puyol plays like he's a young boy. Xavi and Iniesta are able to run all game and neither have the physique for it. Messi has a shit ass body, he's not even shredded like Cristiano, you put Messi aside bodies like Maldini's, Zanetti's, Totti's, Ibra's, Cristiano's, Bale's and he's a little shit and yet he can run and sprint all game like no other.


Barcelona for me were drugged at Camp Nou, because before that match they were awfully bland vs Madrid, Deportivo and us at San Siro and you could tell they hadn't been taking their medicine. I think whatever they take can't be detected by UEFA. Whoever thinks Barca, Juve etc run like how they do due to natural causes is a moron as far as I'm concerned. Not even rugby players run as much as Barca does lol...


What I found even more incredible is with that 4-0 win vs Italy, Xavi was able to man mark Pirlo and steal the ball from him for fun, and yet Xavi and Pirlo both have the same wimpy physique and are the same age more or less. How is it Xavi can make Pirlo his bitch when Pirlo has as much technique and physicality as Xavi? If you guys don't believe me, google Messi half naked, google Xavi and Iniesta half naked, their physiques are nothing to die for. Then compare them to guys like Cristiano, Bale, Stephan, Balotelli etc who have sprinter bodies. Neither of these guys are skinny *bleep*, and yet Messi runs as fast and accelerates as fast as these guys. I find it very hard to believe. Messi is the product of doping and HGH.

He has a point. Too bad Messi didnt take his medicine against Bayern

Loooooooooooool~!!!! Im particularly disturbed about the google-ing the players half naked part

[Suarez99]

Depends. It's all about momentary perceptions in the Digital age.

- Mourinho wins the treble with Inter = Genius.
- Lost 5-0 to Barcelona = Complete dud.
- Wins the league = Manager of the decade.
- Lost the CL Semi's = .
- 12 points behind Barcelona in the league = Why did we ever hire this shit?
- Wins 3-1 in Camp Nou, and 2-1 in seven days = Best manager in the world.
- Loses 4-1 to Dortmund = Wait, what has this guy ever achieved to merit the hype? Were we all drunk on cool aid?

From Xtratime on a thread "Is Mourinho still the Special One?"

[spanky]

Slovenian referee Damir Skomina will officiate the Champions League second-leg between Barcelona and Bayern Munich.

The 36-year-old will be in charge of proceedings at Camp Nou where the German club hold a huge advantage after crushing the Catalan club 4-1 in the first-leg at the Allianz Arena. - goal.com

[Lex]

That's pretty poor journalism, even for a site run by amoebas like goal.com

[Kamikaze692]

Got this from a Goal.com comment after the Barca vs Bayern game:
"Vilanova before the match- " I want some kind of excuse to justify tonight's hammering. Let me see, there were no volcanoes this week, the pitch isn't waterlogged, the ref won't be against us this time since it's our
home game. So what have I got left? EUREKA - I will leave Messi on the bench and then things will be back to normal"

[Great Leader Sprucenuce]

I am very nervous.

Till now I am 100% sure I like women but I am not quite sure this will remain like this till the match hour.

Last Newcastle x Benfica match I almost kissed my neighbor's cat.

[jibers]

Jamie Usmanov1 hour ago
Jorge Mendes is a greedy man who only thinks about money, nut when it comes to CR7, as a Madridista I can surely say only one thing - without Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro, Real Madrid can forget about La Liga, Copa Del Rey and of course stop even dreaming about La Decima. He has scored approximately 75% of all the goals for Real Madrid during the last 3 seasons. No one had ever done that before. If he is gone. Even two Falcaos or Cavanis wouldn't help. If Real Madrid intend to step it up next season and bring in reinforcements, they need to support CR as much as they can. Otherwise it'll just be like saying "I'll sell my Bugatti, and buy 3-4 Audi's instead."

Moral.
Cristiano Ronaldo + Real Madrid = Possible trophies;
Cristiano Ronaldo - Real Madrid = 5 years of Luxemburgo's, Queiroz's and Gago's.

[BarrileteCosmico]

75%?

[BarcaLearning]

"Busquets is NOT a good defensive player ,he basically an attacking player with good enough defensive qualities to get him through a season in la liga!"

That made me and LOL'ed

[Great Leader Sprucenuce]

To give a bit of back ground info the guy in the centre of the shot at the end of the gif is a Benfica fan who joined the Newcastle forum i post on and the forum has found out and madness ensued....

WTF IS THIS s***.

IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?

IM CONTACTING PORTUGUESE AMBASSATOR IN NEWCASTLE

More background info on this gif, the Benfica fan in question hates republicans and has this as his sig....

1. THIS IS f***ing 2013 AND YOU CANT DEAL WITH THE f***ing TRUTH
2. BACK OFF YOU f***ing NEO-LENINIST REPUBLICANS IM NOT ONE OF THOSE PSEUDO LEFT WING SNOBBY SH*THEADS
3. YEAH IM TALKING TO ME ME PIECE OF s***

His face has now been made into a smiley

Notice that has face shopped on to the exploding head gif

Also this is currently the boards banner...

Apparently the mod said he is in process of editing to have his face instead of Pardew on it

[RealGunner]

[dostoevsky]

Still not quite as good as the pacman gif that was made after a fan appeared on a quiz show, but great nonetheless.

[BarrileteCosmico]

Yeah that korean guy was great

Anyways, your mod is pretty lazy because this takes all of 40 seconds:

[Great Leader Sprucenuce]

They have seen done it, but when i made my post i pretty much went to bed afterwards.

[fatman123]

GOATS

[fatman123]

http://www.tottenhamhotspurs.tv/players-lounge/29436-general-epl-chat-2012-13-a-230.html#post787253

COYS

I'm almost certain Everton would've gotten a point on the last day. They've only lost 6 times all season, and for Moyes's last game they would've massively been up for it. But it doesn't matter anyway.

I hate to sound like a punk but sometimes you wonder if there is just something in the air against us, because the number of incredible things that have gone against us the last couple seasons is just staggering.

1. Fulop
2. Chelsea come back against Napoli
3. Chelsea beat Barca
4. Chelsea beat Bayern
5. Harry England drama
6. Rose sent off against Villa
7. Kaboul out entire season
8. Sandro out half season
9. Arsenal "cheat" goals against Norwich and United (I'm sure there were others)
10. Sidwell sent off early against Arsenal
11. United clinches title,then only manages one point against Arsenal and Chelsea
12. Benteke sent off

[Raptorgunner]

LOL Spur fans are losing it.

Who cares anymore WIN OR LOOSE. Playing Wigan 3 days after a cup final poppycock. Playing a Newcastle side that don't care poppycock. Playing Sunderland without a worry poppycock. Best league in the world CRAP! Why do we get so involved with our teams. Players get paid an amount thats beyond comprehension and they don't give a fcuk- it would take me 25 years to earn what they earn in a week. Premiership football - b@ll@cks- Utd were crap before Sky money, they couldn't win a thing before. Since 1992 they have won the league consistently, before then, they were crap. Chelshite were carp until loads of money. The Arse are just CRAP. City crap before the big investors. Football has lost its sole and competition has lost its way. I am done with it all and am removing myself from anything relating to football. This is not a nervous breakdown but a sense of reality. Goodbye football.

Half the newcastle players are french and Arsenal manager is french...French people stick together.

[/quote]If you think about it. Scum actually have the harder path to Champions league then we do. We each have to WIN against a safe club. However they play the better of the two clubs. Also they play their opponent on the road. Both clubs need to win and we clearly have the better odds of winning.

As long as the Newcastle players haven't already started doing cocaine then we might have a chance.[quote]

[TonyDaBeast]

ShogunMourinho6 hours ago
I had a dream that I was in a jacuzzi with Mourinho and Ronaldo. Ronaldo was rubbing my shoulders and I was rubbing Mourinho’s shoulders. We started rubbing against each other then my stupid mom woke me up!!!

I HATE YOU MOM!


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[Harmonica]

Big soccer

Milan have to win this or they fall into the Europa League. Looks like they'll need two penalties because that's the only way they'll score today the way things are going and Balotelli sure is a master at those.

And there's the gift penalty to Milan. Shocking referee!

2-1 Milan. Not sure how they can even celebrate such blatent bribery. Then again, they're Italian...

[Kaladin]

Looks like you haven't watched a lot of Bergonzi

[Harmonica]

Never, didn't even watch the game, but saw those writings in live.

[Raptorgunner]

Spurs forum.
There's only two or three players from their first eleven I'd take over ours. Obviously striker, because you have to have one in any eleven and we don't. Otherwise I'd take Cazorla and maybe Koscielny. Koscielny is out if Kaboul is playing, and even without Dawson is close to equal.

[McAgger]

from RAWK on LFC singing Papa and the advantages. For some reason cracked me up a lot.

A man boarded an aircraft at Heathrow and took his seat, as he settled in he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight towards his seat and bingo! She took the seat right beside him.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in the United States". He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent."

We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish,"

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said... "Tonto Papadopoulos , but my friends call me Paddy."

[rwo power]

From a certain well-known infamous website's comments:

Ricky Cash

STATS:
-Ranked #1 troll of the world
-Supports Arsenal with intense passion
-Has a creative style of trolling. You never know what he can pull out of his bag of troll tricks next.

STRENGTHS:
-The most creative troll I have ever witnessed. I can't comprehend how he comes up with the trolling ideas that he does.
-Unpredictable in a good way. You never know what this guy can come up with, but it will always entertain you.
-Consistency. He consistently is trolling at a higher level than his peers.
-Quality AND Quantity. Not only does he consistently put out content, but it is all high quality content. I don't know how he can have the time and energy to do this, but somehow he finds a way,
-Intelligence. You can see from how he writes that he clearly has wisdom and a high level of intellect.
-Writing skills. Most trolls can't seem to write or understand proper grammer. This troll has a high level of grammar and education which makes him even more deadly of a troll.

WEAKNESSES:
-Perhaps TOO attached to his club. It is unhealthy.
-Delusional in thinking his club is the best in the world and Walcott is the best player.

TROLL OUTLOOK:
-This is the most creative and best troll I have ever witnessed. He will be a consistent force at the top of the trolling world for years to come. The only one who can stop this troll from being the best is himself really. He is the Lionel Messi of trolls. The day he retires from trolling will be the day that the trolling world lost it's greatest ever member.


Stront

STATS:
-Ranked #2 troll of the world
-Supports Cristiano Ronaldo (and thus Real Madrid by association, although he is not a true fan of them only Ronaldo). Also a an ardent supporter of Belgium, the nation of his residence and birth.
-Has a trolling style in which he uses numerous statistics and passion to drive others insane.

STRENGTHS:
-Can spew out statistic after statistic to prove the points that he tries to make. Repeated repitition of his stats will drive any of his enemies insane.
-Great taunting ability to rile up his opponents, so that he may break them down and deliver a crushing blow to their egos with his numerous stats. Then, he'll taunt you some more to ensure that your ego is crushed and you are a broken man.
-Defends himself and his allegiances with great fervor, passion, and emotion.
-Consistency. He is consistent in what he says and in the way he presents it.
-Is very deliberate, concise, and potent with his attacks on his enemies. He is a fearsome troll who you don't want to cross. Not many trolls can say that they crossed Stront and lived to tell the tale. Stront will eat you alive.

WEAKNESSES:
-Very stubborn in his beliefs. Even when he is confronted with stats that overpower his, he still blindly sticks to what he believes even when he is proven wrong
-Not the most creative in his approach to trolling. Stats, stats, and more stats are his answer.
-Can be easily shaken at times. Some of the trolls that he's done battle with have shaken him up, and have reduced him to a beggar, begging for mercy and crying for forgiveness. He must toughen up when things aren't going his way.

TROLL OUTLOOK:
-This is a troll who will consistently challenge at the top of the trolling world. The name Stront is recognized and feared everywhere. He should be a mainstay in the top 5 or top 10 trolls at the least, although it is expected he will continie to challenge in the top 3 based of current form. He is truly unlucky to be living in the era of Ricky Cash because this troll is a true modern day genius. He is like the Cristiano Ronaldo of trolls. An absolute genius, but unlucky to live in the era of the Lionel Messi of trolls (Ricky Cash).

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