Commentators' weirdest football nicknames

"The commentators on the US Spanish language channel Univision repeatedly use nicknames for soccer players and teams that are not used in other languages," notes Tim Dockery. "Wayne Rooney is referred to as El Astro Boy, David Beckham is El Spice Boy, Tim Howard is El Pato Howard (Howard the Duck) and the US men's national team is El Equipo de Todos (Everybody's Team). What other instances are there of players or teams who have nicknames in a language that in no way correspond to their nicknames in their native tongue?"

Where to start, Tim? It seems that, alongside trying to stretch 'Gol!' to cover full minutes of air-time, South American commentators put a lot of effort into coming up with colourful nicknames for footballers, some more inexplicable than others. Among the examples are Nicklas El Robot Bendtner and Paul El Colorado Scholes (meaning The Red). However, from 'Harry Potter' to 'Harry Potter's Dad', via 'The Asparagus', it seems that there are numerous other belters out there.

To start us off, here's Martin Laplace, who wrote from Argentina with a whacking great list. "In South American ESPN transmissions, Luis Omar Tapia is known for his great nicknames for almost every famous
player," writes Martin. Here are his examples:

Andrés Iniesta – Casper
Carles Puyol – Tarzan
Fabio Coloccini – The MGM Lyon
George Weah – Mufasa
John Carew – The Giraffe
Phil Stamp – The Mummy
Guti – Shaggy
Marc Overmars – Roadrunner
Paolo Maldini – Highlander
Pavel Nedved – Patrick Swayze
Pedro Munitis – Smurf
Ronaldinho – Jar Jar Binks
Ryan Giggs – Private Ryan
Sammy Khedira – Jafar
Thomas Gravesen – Shrek
Zinedine Zidane – Harry Potter

"Nowadays, the Argentinian commentator Juan Manuel 'El Bambino' Pons gives funny nicknames to Premier League stars, including: Cara Roja (Red Face) for Alex Ferguson; Salchicha (Sausage) for Abou Diaby; El Hijo de Chucky (The Son of Chucky) for Tomas Rosicky; El Obediente (The Obedient One) for Park Ji-sung; El Raro (The Weird One) for Nemanja Vidic; El Papá de Harry Potter (Harry Potter's Dad) for Rafael Benítez; 'Karate' for Nigel de Jong; Churrasco de Víbora (Viper Steak) for John O'Shea; Pan Triste (Sad Bread) for Lee Bowyer; Cortinita (Little Curtain) for Bacary Sagna; El Jabalí (The Hog) for Wayne Rooney, and so on."

Amauri - Sandokan
Quagliarella - Eta Beta

lol at this one.
Salchicha (Sausage) for Abou Diaby;

Amauri - Sandokan.
Buffon - Superman
J.Zanetti - Bulldozer
Davids - Pitbull

Cassano - Peter Pan
Carew/Toni - Gulliver (easy to figure that one out)
Borriello - Jack Sparrow
Burdisso - Scarface
Juan - Denzel Washington


btw, @Liam and Del Boy, do you guys know who Sandokan is?

"Guti – Shaggy"

Isn't Franck Ribéry's nickname is Scarface also.

Raptorgunner wrote:Isn't Franck Ribéry's nickname is Scarface also.

Maybe, it would make sense. Depends on the commentators, the one's I gave are from a Roma commentator.

Puyol - Al Asad ( the lion ) lol
RVP - Al Momayaz ( the special one )