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Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
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SaintJoe
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Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
[quote]
“Neymar is just like Messi” says Wagner Ribeiro, Neymar’s agent, “Soon he’ll be the best in the world because he’s a player unlike any other”. Which is a bit confusing because how can Neymar be ‘just like Messi’ and yet be ‘a player unlike any other’? Oh well. There’s a cardinal rule in any sport.
When the agent tells you how wonderful their player is, take it with a bucketful of salt. But there’s no doubt Neymar is a special talent, and this statement immediately piqued our interest. So we’ve been sitting around bored, twiddling our fingers, and reading one absurd transfer rumor after another, so what better thing to do than churn out another of those head-to-heads right?
No? Well, too bad for you, but we just wanted to see for ourselves how similar the two players are. And here goes.
Inspiring New Defense Methodologies
The success Ramos and Pepe have had against Messi has inspired a whole new defense methodology, a new school of thought if you may, often referred to by the experts as the “Squat On the Attacker” move.
In this move, the defender, as you might have guessed, squats on the attacker, thereby rendering the attacker immobile. It usually helps if the attacker is slight of frame. It might not be a good idea to squat on Ibra, for example, unless you want a Taekwondo kick up your jaw and your teeth floating around in your brain.
Has Neymar ever been sat on by men in white? Not that we know of, but he might have to wait till Brazil plays Spain or Portugal for Ramos, Pepe or Xabi to do the needful. (thanks to ellabarca for the picture)
Hair Styling
Leo Messi’s mop of unruly hair is known to be the despair of the hair gel industry which harbors no hope of making any revenue out of him. His hair somehow grows right back overnight after mowing through the foliage with a pair of garden scissors, just like Harry Potter. You can empty tubs of Villa’s Special Strength Hair Gel into it with no perceptible effect.
As for Neymar, he sports a mohawk that could make Cristiano Ronaldo blush with shame at his own inadequacy in this department. Some people might refer to this as the “I put my finger in the power socket” look (*cough* MissPharaoh *cough*), but mere words cannot express its creative awesomeness. Genius!
Scaring Referees Out of their Wits
Neymar’s prowess in this area is unmatched, and includes wearing an upside-down mask of his own face during a Copa Libertadores match. Shortly after the referee recovered from the sudden shock of seeing one his players with his neck attached to the wrong end of his head, he sent Neymar off with a red card.
Has Messi ever done anything quite so scary? We don’t think writing a message on his undershirt wishing his mommy happy birthday counts.
The Art of Lifting Heavy Objects
Neymar is clearly the most accomplished here, it is no mean feat to lift Pele. Has Leo Messi ever lifted Pele? It is rumored that he did get close once but barely managed to escape with bite marks in his ankle.
The biggest thing Messi has ever lifted is the Champions League Cup, and that is not quite as distinguished (Thanks to BarcaTheOffside for the pic).
[quote]
........................
original article here..............
Enjoy!
“Neymar is just like Messi” says Wagner Ribeiro, Neymar’s agent, “Soon he’ll be the best in the world because he’s a player unlike any other”. Which is a bit confusing because how can Neymar be ‘just like Messi’ and yet be ‘a player unlike any other’? Oh well. There’s a cardinal rule in any sport.
When the agent tells you how wonderful their player is, take it with a bucketful of salt. But there’s no doubt Neymar is a special talent, and this statement immediately piqued our interest. So we’ve been sitting around bored, twiddling our fingers, and reading one absurd transfer rumor after another, so what better thing to do than churn out another of those head-to-heads right?
No? Well, too bad for you, but we just wanted to see for ourselves how similar the two players are. And here goes.
Inspiring New Defense Methodologies
The success Ramos and Pepe have had against Messi has inspired a whole new defense methodology, a new school of thought if you may, often referred to by the experts as the “Squat On the Attacker” move.
In this move, the defender, as you might have guessed, squats on the attacker, thereby rendering the attacker immobile. It usually helps if the attacker is slight of frame. It might not be a good idea to squat on Ibra, for example, unless you want a Taekwondo kick up your jaw and your teeth floating around in your brain.
Has Neymar ever been sat on by men in white? Not that we know of, but he might have to wait till Brazil plays Spain or Portugal for Ramos, Pepe or Xabi to do the needful. (thanks to ellabarca for the picture)
Hair Styling
Leo Messi’s mop of unruly hair is known to be the despair of the hair gel industry which harbors no hope of making any revenue out of him. His hair somehow grows right back overnight after mowing through the foliage with a pair of garden scissors, just like Harry Potter. You can empty tubs of Villa’s Special Strength Hair Gel into it with no perceptible effect.
As for Neymar, he sports a mohawk that could make Cristiano Ronaldo blush with shame at his own inadequacy in this department. Some people might refer to this as the “I put my finger in the power socket” look (*cough* MissPharaoh *cough*), but mere words cannot express its creative awesomeness. Genius!
Scaring Referees Out of their Wits
Neymar’s prowess in this area is unmatched, and includes wearing an upside-down mask of his own face during a Copa Libertadores match. Shortly after the referee recovered from the sudden shock of seeing one his players with his neck attached to the wrong end of his head, he sent Neymar off with a red card.
Has Messi ever done anything quite so scary? We don’t think writing a message on his undershirt wishing his mommy happy birthday counts.
The Art of Lifting Heavy Objects
Neymar is clearly the most accomplished here, it is no mean feat to lift Pele. Has Leo Messi ever lifted Pele? It is rumored that he did get close once but barely managed to escape with bite marks in his ankle.
The biggest thing Messi has ever lifted is the Champions League Cup, and that is not quite as distinguished (Thanks to BarcaTheOffside for the pic).
[quote]
........................
original article here..............
Enjoy!
Gaudiola- Prospect
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Join date : 2011-06-05
Re: Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
This article was awesome :lol!:
SaintJoe- Starlet
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Re: Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
Rofl @ 'the heaviest thing Messi has lifted is the CL'.
BarrileteCosmico- Admin
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Re: Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
Had some laughs here n there, other than that, a bit unprofessional imo.
the xcx- Banned (Decade)
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Re: Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
The xcx wrote:Had some laughs here n there, other than that, a bit unprofessional imo.
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Gaudiola- Prospect
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Re: Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
LOL at Ramos sitting on Leo.
great article (about nothing really).
great article (about nothing really).
Kick- Admin
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Re: Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
kick mars wrote:LOL at Ramos sitting on Leo.
great article (about nothing really).
You think he let one rip?
Guest- Guest
Re: Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
Crimson wrote:kick mars wrote:LOL at Ramos sitting on Leo.
great article (about nothing really).
You think he let one rip?
I would. :lol!:
Kick- Admin
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Posts : 34814
Join date : 2011-06-06
Age : 31
Re: Head to Head-Messi vs Neymar
I am reading that Neymar is very close to joining Real Madrid. Also they are debating between introducing him next season itself or letting him play one more season at Santos on loan. The price is rumored to be a whooping E40m.
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