GL Flight Disaster: The Chelsea Edition

So im sure by now all of you have read Dos’ GL plane crash masterpiece, if not here’s the link http://www.goallegacy.net/t16007-goal-legacy-the-disaster-movie?highlight=goal. Anyway the other day I thought, “what if just the Chelsea section were on the flight?” well here’s me crack at it, it’s a bit rough because I only had one draft, so hopefully its half as good as what Dos wrote.
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Setting: Goal Legacy is on a plane, flying somewhere. Who knows why or how.

Shed: We’re going to crash because the human lard disposal is too heavy for the engines to support

Kick: The engines are fine, its these headwinds that are making the engine struggle

Shed: And the reason we’re in these headwinds is because FSW picked Torres as his co-pilot, Ba is a far superior co-pilot, we wouldn’t be in this mess if he were navigating

Lszanto: Please, Torres couldn’t navigate a piece of cake into Rafs mouth

Shed: True

Kick

Baret: We should never have picked up FSW in the first place, RDM was a far superior pilot, he would never have crashed this plane

Soul: RDM

Kick: RDM

Fatman123: Its a shame we had to replace RDM wih the FSW as captain, does anyone know waht happened to RDM? He dispaeared after we ladned in Russia

Shed: Roman sticking his filthy Russian hands where they don’t belong again, he is everything that is wrong with this club

Kick:

Ruthless: damn manure scum devil dogs, this is all their fault, they’ve payed off the wind current to make our plane crash

Sepi: Look at all these plastic chavski rent boys, this plane couldn’t be flying any smoother, although at the first sign of the smallest amount of turbulence it has to be FSW fault I assure Rafa will land this plane perfectly, not that any of you deserve it

Messiah: Don’t bother Seps, Rafa could fly their plastic plane faster than a fighter jet and have a perfect landing and still would find a way to blame Rafa.

Shed: Here come all the Liverpool historians again, you must be joking if you think that Rodgers will be able to land your pre-historic Wright brothers plane half as well as RDM would’ve landed our luxury liner then you’re kidding yourselves

Fatman123: Lets caml down guys, I know thi ssong helps me relax when I get abit frsutrated

Kick: not that scrub again

Soul: whats a sean long?

Shed: I think he means shaun short

CSpurs: Chelsea had the best up and coming pilot in aviation and then you let him go. AVB is flying the skies ever so majestically and with Bale as his co-pilot theres nothing that can stop us. Pride of London aviation

Fatman123: VillyB doesnt even hvae the right to be in our airprt, let alone fly ourplanes

Kick: Spurs once a small club, always a small club

Gil: This project was never going to work, sending out so many steweds on loan to other companies was a foolish move, of course the companies management will never learn and the fans will just keep blaming Torres. Lucky the cabin crew is full of studs like Mata and Hazard

Abramovich: This flight was for Chelsea fans only, who let you on?

Shed: Maybe we could just throw FSW out the plane now; at the very least it would lighten the load

Soul: But who could fly the plane?

Kick: JT cabin crew/pilot?

Shed: Im sure the media would love that, wouldn’t work though

Kick: Sheddy pants, they altitude is getting worse

Shed: and what do you want me to do about it you useless twit?

Kick: spoon with me one more time sheddy pants

Shed: only if I can be the big spoon this time

Kick: of course

Baret: I think I just threw up a bit

Abramoivch: me too

Soul: I heard theres a great pilot in Spain who doesn’t have a job any more, maybe we could try pick him up?

Shed: That tool already had his turn flying this plane, it’ll all be fine for a few hours till he pinches the ass of the wrong flight stewardess and then the whole plane goes crazy, harassment claims, protest and the lot, no thanks.


Fatman123: Mou bring bakc the special pilot

Soul: Mou will be a great pilot for us, he’ll bring back the days of the glory flights

CSpurs: You had Mou2.0 but you fired him, now you’re going to try bringing back the old pilot with the out of date ideas? Only at Chelsea

Shed: Shut your mouth Cwhateverteamidecidedtosupportthisweek. Look at all the Mou fan boys getting excited about him, Mou would much rather pilot that new French luxury liner then this plane bought with Russian blood money.

Abramoivch: Mou would make a great pilot, plus he’d bring us the kind of on flight staff we need and the very best in-flight entertainment available

Kick: do you think Mou will have a copy of that new geology documentary, it was really interesting?

Uncanny: Mou does have a knack for bringing and retaining some great inflight movies, hopefully he can bring back that moive about the Kraken we loaned out last week

Shed: Deluded Mou fan boys So Mou brings in the best in-flight entertainment available, but what happens in three flights time when those movies are old and the new cabin staff are tired? Soon as the customers start to complain he’ll disappear and then we’re back where we are now: with a human lard can for a pilot.

Fatman: Mou is a changed pilot, hes ready to fly us into the future. Mou

Sepi: ffs no respect among these chavski c*nts, I still haven’t felt any turbulence

Abramoivch: Scousers trying anything to make themselves relevant again

Shed:Plane will make safe landing:
Looks like that fat turd may just get us onto the tarmac after all

Messiah: rafa deserves better then these classless chav c*nts

Kick: Guess all the turbulence made him sweat enough so that the plane was able to support his weight

Shed: Shame he still weighs more than the entire first XI combined

Red: Look at all these ungracious Chelsea fans forgetting how Rafa outflew SAF airlines on two occasions with Chelsea

Ruthless: Maybe we could throw Rafa out and use his gut to break the planes crash?

Fatman123: ffs ruthless

Abramoivch:

Kick:

Shed: :Plane lands safely:
Not sure how that fat turd did it, guess he just got lucky

LOL, brilliant. Couldn't help burst into laughter at the part where Sheddy Pants and I talk about spooning, spot on fitty!

Also, do I really post that much?

I'm never seen a fatman post with such good spelling .

There's still spelling mistakes all through it!

Kick wrote:There's still spelling mistakes all through it!

Im only human! I did purposely make spelling errors for my posts though

haha

HAHAHA "hopefully he can bring back the movie about the Kraken we loaned out last week", haha the whole scenario perfectly sums up everything, hilarious!

I will go on a rant soon!!! We have planes in Sri Lanka!!!!

I'm sad...

Good bye everyone! I'm gonna jump off my bed...

Fitty, you might have missed someone

Ill have revison up soon, with you in it Infinity, cant believe i forgot you

Also now that we've got the chance is there anyone or anything else that i missed?

Only other Chelsea fan I think think of is Blue but you could also add Ganso.

"Shed: That tool already had his turn flying this plane, it’ll all be fine for a few hours till he pinches the ass of the wrong flight stewardess and then the whole plane goes crazy, harassment claims, protest and the lot, no thanks."



Great work fatman, wonderful job.

beatrixasdfghjk. wrote:I'm never seen a fatman post with such good spelling .

dostoevsky wrote:"Shed: That tool already had his turn flying this plane, it’ll all be fine for a few hours till he pinches the ass of the wrong flight stewardess and then the whole plane goes crazy, harassment claims, protest and the lot, no thanks."



Great work fatman, wonderful job.

praise from the man himself

dostoevsky wrote:

beatrixasdfghjk. wrote:I'm never seen a fatman post with such good spelling .

I may or may not have typed the enitre thing (emotes included) in MS Word first and then copy pasted it to GL

Still spelt Barret wrong.....

fatman123 wrote: Ill have revison up soon, with you in it Infinity, cant believe i forgot you

Also now that we've got the chance is there anyone or anything else that i missed?

hahaha im just kidding man, chill

Kick wrote:Still spelt Barret wrong.....

Barret isnt even a word!

It is a name though

You guys had the best up and coming speller in the nation, but you let him leave for Tottenham.

One hard name to spell later (Damiao) and Tottenham are set for a top 4 place next year, and then Tottenham will lead the EPL into yet another European adventure, as usual. Pride of London

Great post though. I'm honored

Spurs aren't even the pride of North London