Re: Quotes from other forums that make you LOL

[dostoevsky]

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,93150.0.html

All 22 pages are f*cking hilarious

Don't even know anyone and I'm laughing, that pacman gif and the fistpump cracked me up. Just seeing the progression of their efforts is hilarious.

Photoshopping his face onto Colocinni.

The guy who has spent at least four hours on this.

[RealGunner]

oldtype ?

[Great Leader Sprucenuce]

oldtype ?

He's a Korean NUFC fan on the forum if you scroll through the thread you will get it.

That is him on the pics on that gameshow.

There's one there with him gif'd to Hitler image

[the xcx]

meh, I dont get it.

[S32TABLANCA]

Holy shit man, I just read through all 24 pages of that. That is some crazy crazy shit.

[la bestia negra]

http://www.totalfootballforums.com/forums/topic/81176-french-players-banned-from-international-duty/#entry1242398

[free_cat]

Where's the funny thing? Ribery certainly is overrated.

[la bestia negra]

Where's the funny thing? Ribery certainly is overrated.

maybe but not to the extent they speak of
i mean they think of Gourcuff as some sort of god

[S]

Wats da Mata Chelsea fans? Did u Cech da score? I know, it is a Hazard.u must b Terry-fied now! Juve's performance deserves an Oscar!"

[Vibe]

Wats da Mata Chelsea fans? Did u Cech da score? I know, it is a Hazard.u must b Terry-fied now! Juve's performance deserves an Oscar!"

[Raptorgunner]

Dogsh&t defending, opposite of clinical...

We are PRAYING for a Shakhtar win against Juventus... absolutely PRAYING.

or a juventus win. We go level on points with Shaktar and we go through based on head to head.

Some one tell Chelsea fans if Juve tie or win its over for Chelsea.

[jibers]

redcfe

[QUOTE=Annahnomoss;12547743]I think Smalling and Jones could be the best centre back pairing in history in 6 years if they get to play together a lot. For now Evans is better though and he will continue being "worthy of a spot" even after/if Jones gets better.[/QUOTE]

[McAgger]

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,93150.0.html

All 22 pages are f*cking hilarious

Don't even know anyone and I'm laughing, that pacman gif and the fistpump cracked me up. Just seeing the progression of their efforts is hilarious.

Photoshopping his face onto Colocinni.

The guy who has spent at least four hours on this.

I just spent 2 hours reading through 24 pages ffs Oldtype

[CBarca]

If AVB does not do a good job this season he will be sacked and rightly so. F**k 5 year plans this ain't communist Russia.

From Glory Glory

[Great Leader Sprucenuce]

Dark Knight Rises.

4.5/10. Just about enough to be a decent movie, but still a bit too stupid with bucketloads of cheese and horrible, horrible action scenes. Made even worse by Anne Hathaway.

The review process:

Batman isn't real, -1.
An awful lot seemed to happen in only 3 hours, -1.
I think that guy was called Christian Bale, but everyone kept calling him 'Bruce', -1.
The screen didn't cover all my peripheral vision; not very realistic, -1.
They had music in the background which doesn't happen in real life that often, -1.
Anne Hathaway can't beat anyone up, -0.5.

[RealGunner]

[Great Leader Sprucenuce]

This one?

2,1,3

To be fair, he did say he'd shag the adult first

Here comes Savile saying Glitter wasn't that bad. Slippery slope from here

Your reactions say more about you. I was purely listing them by height.

LMFAO

[EL Patron]

We must get a refund for Santiago Cafraudla. Malaga got one over us. Pretending they were in financial meltdown to give the impression that we got a bargain. Awlful Spanish z-lister who must be sent to his natural habitat of Swansea

[RED]

Some random post on redcafe that has just made me howl with laughter. Thread was about pretty girls that.... well just read this.

While on the subject...

A couple of years ago I was in some moody pub in Manchester and after a couple of drinks I asked my mate where the toilet was. He pointed me in the direction of a non-descript looking door that was in desperate need of a good varnishing and so I pushed it open and went inside for a piss. Upon entering I noticed that there were no urinals on the wall and only two cubicles, which I thought, fleetingly, was a little bit strange. I walked into the one stall that was vacant, lifted the seat up with my foot and expelled the warm contents of my bladder via my floppy tosser. There was a societal monster in the adjoining trap, oblivious to common decency and with a flagrant disregard for social convention, loudly powering out a shite with accompanying farts that resonated profoundly in the porcelain bowl. I raised the neck-hole of my top over my nose and mouth to prevent further inhalation of the malevolent, abhorrent and repugnant odour that was emanating from this contemptible *bleep* sludge tank and made my way to the sink to wash my hands. As I was drying my digits under the electronic hand dryer I heard the lock on the cubicle door open and I instinctively glanced to my left to cast eyes upon the fetid demon that was responsible for such terrible behaviour. I'll readily admit that I was not in the least bit expecting to see the petite brunette with tolerable tits that was stood beside me. I was confused for a second or two and then I rapidly realised what had transpired. The little metal bin used for discarding soiled sanitary towels that was sitting in the corner suddenly zoomed to the forefront of my consciousness and my face filled with blood, doing its best impersonation of the pink themed décor. She screamed; "what the *bleep* are you doing in here, you *bleep* pervert?" I'd lost all composure at this point and the only reply I could muster was; "I'm having a piss, you stupid twat". In hindsight, that was a dreadful mistake to make as she lunged toward me without hesitation, throwing haphazard haymakers and slapdash swings in the direction of my chest, windpipe and lips. I spun on my heels and made a dart for the exit, receiving thunderous thuds to my back that sounded like a snare drum as I went, and all the while thinking; "Oh my God, she hasn't washed her *bleep* hands". I came tearing out of the shithouse at the speed of sound, mowing into the occupants of the packed boozer en route as this loud-mouthed lunatic was in hot pursuit. In the end I managed to escape the premises and flagged a taxi to take me home. It was the first time I'd ever been attacked by a woman and thinking back I probably should have lamped the teeth out of her jawbone and left her on grime-ridden tiled floor to recollect her senses. My mate later informed me that I had been barred indefinitely and that some soft *bleep* with a side-part and Eastern European looking trainees had threatened to kill me should I ever return. I think the moral of the story is don't listen to a woman having a shit or she will *bleep* batter you.

classic....

[Blue Barrett]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!

[McAgger]

HAHAHA f*cking golden. Well written too that

[Guest]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!

HAHAHA f*cking golden. Well written too that

Great read...

Spoiler:

[free_cat]

Wow, what an hysteric girl. It has happened to me tens of times to get in the ladies room by mistake, and no one has ever attacked me.

[Guest]

Reading through the 25 page thread Danny7 recommended (as I can't fall to sleep) and on page two I decided to keep track of the posts I most enjoyed...

I have applied for many many, jobs but i'm getting nothing back.

Response

Maybe you need to speak to someone in the know about why you aren't getting anything back. Maybe you need a few tips as to how to fill an application in better.

Simon you can't be looking that hard for work. You're on here all day.

Come on you know that aint much of an excuse. I've been there lad. Pull yourself together, get some money. Do bar work, cleaning, owt while you're training. Seriously, Dirty Sanchez is right.

Response

I wish I could but my confidence is crap. And I have a bad history with alcohol, Not to mention I am extremely poor with maths.

What is the outstanding amount with all added charges and stuff? If you can't pay it off, ring them and offer to set up a payment plan.

Alternatively change your identity and move to Rumania.

Debt : Phone debt company and set up repayment plan. 90% go for it. If they don't, contact CAB Debt Service and the debt company will set up a repayment plan once they know those hard bastards are on the case.

Job : Join as many job agencies as possible and you'll get work in no time. Boring work but it still pays. Get on it.

Wank : You may now have one.

I've heard there's good money to be made down the docks doing favours for sailors.

Shouldn't really be on the internet all day when you're meant to be training so you have da skillz for a new job.

*looks around to see if the boss is watching*

Sorry guys, had to quit after seeing a graphic picture on page 4 (avoid it at all costs!)

[The Franchise]

Wow, what an hysteric girl. It has happened to me tens of times to get in the ladies room by mistake, and no one has ever attacked me.

LOL same

However, from my experience girls have some strange paranoia that all guys a like half a second away from forcing their way into the toilet and doing who knows what.

The look on some of their faces if they have their door wide open and you arent looking directly at your shoes.

[Zealous]

They have some same sex restrooms at my university. Pretty much avoids that issue entirely.

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